The psychologist tells you how to face a broken love

The psychologist tells you how to face a broken love
The psychologist tells you how to face a broken love

        I can deeply understand the pain these classmates have caused because of their broken love. Why are there so many broken-ups in love on a university campus? What can't be done after a broken love. Not only will it be painful to lose.
        Recently, I have received a number of classmates who came to consult because of a broken relationship. They all behaved very painfully and even thought that they did not know how to face the future. I can deeply understand the pain these classmates have caused because of the loss of love, and I feel sad for their experience, so how should we recognize and face the loss of love? Of course, I hope you will read this article with the feeling of being broken in love. After reading it, you can slowly start a new life.
        Campus love is an important scene in your college life. The experience of falling in love is an indispensable lesson for you to experience life. The love on campus is pure and beautiful, which every college student yearns for; of course, the loss of love in campus love brings The sorrow, pain, despair, melancholy, anxiety, and nothingness that come will be your most unforgettable memories. But whether it's good or sad, it's all there, and it's all your experiences.
        During the consultation process, I came into contact with many classmates who came to ask for help because of the loss of love. Their pain and inability to extricate themselves made me remember. There were even many examples of extreme behaviors caused by the loss of love, such as jumping off the building, Those who don't want to live, those who hurt each other, those who break the jar, and so on. In addition, we have surveys that show that most people have experienced broken-ups. The rate of breaking up in a relationship is quite high in college, and there are not a few cases of depression due to broken-ups. In view of this situation, I think, I'll talk to my classmates about what to do if I lose love.
In fact, many students want to know why there are so many broken relationships in love on college campuses? What are the main reasons for falling in love? First of all, many students have wrong motives at the beginning of their relationship. They don't really like to be together. Some are to relieve loneliness, loneliness, or because of other people's booze, or betting with dorm classmates, or because they see everyone When you are in love, you should also find one to save yourself from being singled. Second, many students don't understand the rules of love. The psychological characteristics of love between men and women are different. At the beginning of the relationship, boys always behave like chasing, proactive and caring, while girls always appear reserved, sensitive and cautious at the beginning of love. The time is not right. After the boys catch up with the girls, they spend a lot of things on other things, instead of paying so much attention to the girls. Girls are on the contrary. Once they agree to the relationship, they will devote themselves to it, hoping that the boys will get more and more. Loving her, the dependence is getting stronger and stronger. At this time, boys may feel annoyed, so conflicts continue to arise, and the breakup is about to come; third, it is affected by some objective factors. Such as: parental rearing styles make each other's communication deviations, parental opposition, long-distance love, go to school, study too busy, not working together, of course, there may be a third party entering; fourth, there are some problems in the communication mode. I don’t know how to respect each other, don't know how to give each other time and space, I always feel that happiness is to be together every day, I always feel that the other person is yours when you are in love, and everything depends on you; of course, there are other special reasons, too. I won't talk about it specifically here.
        After experiencing a broken relationship, everyone will have a series of negative emotions and reactions. This is a normal psychological performance, and it also shows that you have truly loved, but over time, individuals with high psychological flexibility will gradually face reality and accept The status quo of broken love knows that feelings are irreversible and cannot be forced, and also accepts one's current single state and adapts to real life; while students with low psychological elasticity are prone to be immersed in the uncertainty and pain of broken love and find it difficult to accept reality. No matter what reason the other party gave, the breakup is already the result. The reason he gave you may be the last decent, unwilling to say harsh words to hurt, sometimes the effect of sincerity is not as good as the beautiful lie.
        So what should I do if I am broken in love? Then I will talk with you based on consulting experience.
        First of all, you should fully feel and experience the pain caused by a broken relationship. This experience is a part of life, and it is also a kind of "good" memory, to fully feel its existence and let it nourish our growth.
        Second, we must vent it out. You can cry well, find a friend to cry, or go to the counseling center to cry, or cry by yourself, you must know how to vent your painful emotions. A beautiful flower, if you don't remove the pests in the center of the flower, the flower will be bitten and rout, especially the flower, and so are people;
        Third, expand contacts. You can't have only your lover in your eyes. If you lose your lover, you may get the whole world. No one can live without who leaves. You will find the beauty and interest of those neglected in life;
        Fourth, after you wake up a little bit, re-recognize your feelings. Don't always feel that you have paid a lot and got little, don't always feel that others are not loyal to you, in fact, he leaves you is the greatest loyalty;
        Fifth, divert attention, go to relax, travel, or sublimate energy to other things, forcing yourself to get out of your field of vision, from the long-term view of life, a small broken love is not a big deal; sixth, you must know how to fall in love The best treatment drug is: time. Under normal circumstances, it takes 2 months to let go of one year in love, and half a year to let go of one year in love. By analogy, time is something that catches people off guard. Many times, you think you will never let go or let go, but one After three years, five years and ten years, maybe you can't remember what he looked like. Leave it to time if you can't let it go.
        Of course, I also want to tell you, what can't be done after a broken relationship? First of all, you must not continue to be friends after a broken relationship. If you continue to be friends with a lot of affection, the love will not be divided completely and the pain will be prolonged. Don't be friends for 5 years. Everyone should have had this experience. After breaking up, you think of him again in a certain detail in your life. If you still keep in touch, you will not only suffer from loss, but also feel lucky. Will the other party also be unhappy? It's hard to get out. Second, you can't give up on yourself, can't hurt yourself, can't retaliate and hurt others. Otherwise, not only your lover will be lost, but your entire life may be lost. No matter what happens, it is never one person's fault, and the other party should not be made to bear all the responsibilities. Everyone has moments of emotional instability, but you must learn to control it, otherwise the impulse may bring a lifetime of regret; third, immediately find a replacement person to comfort your injured heart. It is the most irrational after falling out of love. At this time, it is easy to impulsively and choose someone to substitute for sustenance. You must be cautious. Otherwise, it is not only irresponsible to oneself, but also a kind of harm to others.
        We all meet people who are crying very sad when they are broken in love. As their girlfriends, friends, or classmates around them, what can we do? The most important thing is to listen, listen to her, let her speak, we just need to give proper feedback, don't give such or that advice, or say useless words such as where there is no fragrant grass in the world. Everyone knows the truth, she may just need someone who can accompany her to listen to her heart; he needs company, you can say nothing, just be around. Help her through the most tormenting 48 hours. This is already the greatest help. At the same time, if you find that your friend has a tendency to self-destruct or retaliate against others, you must report the situation to the parent and teacher and stabilize her emotions so as not to cause irreparable harm.

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